Spring!

This year has been an interesting year, one full of a lot of ups and a lot of downs. I have learned (and am learning) a lot about myself, about strength, about faith, and a lot about family. I have learned that after a divorce you can still sing "I Have a Family Here on Earth" with just as much faith, hope, and optimism as you did before the divorce. I still have my eternal family...it just happened to get a tiny bit smaller. :) I have learned that sometimes kids boo-boos can't be solved with a simple band-aid and sometimes they can't be solved in less than an hour. But...I have been reminded, time and time again, that my children were Heavenly Father's children first and He knows what they need before they even need it. He knows to inspire me to ask a certain question or to spend time with a certain child that day or to just smile and laugh with my children in that moment. He loves them and I love Him for that. He does not want them to suffer anymore than I do. I am recognizing that He tailors each child's life for his/her own growth and that sometimes that growth requires pain or trials but sometimes that growth comes from joy and happy moments. When I realize what I want for my children, and I realize what Heavenly Father wants for my children it helps me realize what my Heavenly Father wants for me....

This last year has been painful, it has been hard, it has hurt...BUT I have grown. My faith has grown, my love for my Savior has grown, my strength has grown, my capacity to handle children, jobs, school, and church callings has been supplemented with a power that is truly not my own. I have learned to appreciate the trials and challenges I have been given in my life because I love what they teach me. But somewhere along the way something surprising happened...suddenly the trials grew smaller, the pain grew less, and I began to have positive experiences, joy, happy moments. I had to learn to have faith that Heavenly Father ultimately wants me to be happy and that sometimes He blesses us with positive experiences and we can grow just as much from them as we do from our trials. I also realized that my painful road led me to a place that was beautiful and was tailored just for me, I just had to do the work to walk down that road, having faith that it was leading me to a place Heavenly Father wanted me to go. Heavenly Father truly knows the end from the beginning and in the dark, lonely moments I remind myself that after every midnight eventually comes the dawn, and after every winter comes the spring and sometimes we are blessed with a dawn, or a spring so much more beautiful than we could have ever imagined for ourselves. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes and I don't know who it is by... "I would rather walk with God in the darkness than go alone in the light".

And stay tuned...because another day (when it is not 12:20 in the morning) I will go into more detail about my spring :)! It truly is beautiful!!!!