In honor of Thanksgiving I thought I would blog a portion of my gratitude list...I could never fit all of it on one little blog! I have so much to be grateful for I don't even know where to start but here it goes...in no particular order!
Disclaimer: No turkeys were harmed in the making of this Thanksgiving list.
1. The savior and the atonement of course always number one.
2. My kids...I don't know how I have been so extremely blessed to have five of the most amazing kids alive...but I am grateful I have!
3. The rest of my family...there are no words humanly possible to express what you mean to me...I could have never made it through the last few months without all of you...especially the wedges ;).
4. Jen and Kim and their extended family...for me they are part of number 3 but I want you to know you how much you all mean to me...you have been amazing supports through this intense year both to Chris and to me...thank you...your support and kind words mean more than you will ever know.
5. Friends...I have some of the best friends a girl could have!
6. School...crazy huh!!! But I am soooo grateful for school-in a time when sometimes I feel I am failing everywhere it is nice to have a place where deferred gratification is a week not 18 years! :)
7. With that said...that my semester is almost over!!! Yay! 3 classes down...3 to go!
8. Prayer...how I love the strength I get through prayer...how I love having somewhere to go that I can bawl my eyes out and say whatever I need to and know the "person" listening truly cares and knows what I need.
9. Scriptures
10. Exercise-I wish I could make the time to do more of it right now...but that will come!
11. Music
12. Kind words and deeds-some days it is the little things that gets me through!
13.Food, all food but mainly dessert, especially chocolate coconut cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory! :)
14. Boats!!!! Both the boats I have used in the past and the one I am looking forward to in my future! LOL
15. Laughter!!
16.Love...I am blessed with so much love in my life
17. Determination...strength...maybe even a little bit of anger...the stuff it takes for you to get off the path you are on that is not leading you where you need to go and on to the right path...
18. Peace
19. Adventure!! I have a feeling this new stage in my life will be full of adventure and in some ways I can't wait! :) I am starting to feel the nudging that it is time to finalize past "issues" and get on with the new stage in my life staring me in the face...aaah...dating....bring it on (but not quite yet):).
20. Chris-it has been 7 months since he passed away...unbelievable...but his life still speaks to me always...his journal blesses me so much through my trials as does my memories of the wonderful 31 years we got to spend with him
Overall I know I am so blessed! I love that while my life is hard right now I still have joy and the Lord reminds me always how much I have been given! Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Gratitude
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Broken things!
Well, I still don't have a camera so I haven't blogged for a while but I figure it is well past time and it is time to talk a little more about how my life really is...the good, the bad, and the ugly! :)School is going great. I love almost every minute of it...I know I am probably a little on the crazy side but I honestly love it. I love homework, tests, class, all of it-yay!! I have missed school and have been waiting to go back for 14 years so this part of my life is a little bit of a dream come true. The only downside is when homework gets in the way of my kids but so far that hasn't been too much of a problem. I am starting my second part time job this week...(working in the gift shop and doing inventory at Union Station for work study) so the time away from the kids might become more of an issue and that sincerely will be hard for me. The week of my first accounting test, which is probably one of my harder tests, I had Barb's wedding cake due. I was baking it and studying for my test and had a plan all laid out when I got a call from the school saying Brayden had hurt his arm and could I come and just make sure he was ok they just really don't know his personality to know if it is a big deal or not. So I am thinking...well,that doesn't sound like a big deal... I will just get this cake out of the oven, go look at Brayden's arm and go take my test an hour early after I send Brayden back to class with a hug and a kiss! :)I get there (20 minutes later..darn cake) and Brayden is sitting there with tears streaming down his face...right there is the first indication something is really wrong- he just doesn't cry much. So they say look at his arm and see what you think...I think there may be a little bump but you decide. So they take the homemade brace off and lift up his sleeve. A little bump??? Are you crazy...it looked like the Harry Potter arm...bending was going on where there was not supposed to be bending. So I smiled kindly and said okay Brayden you want to go to the doctor (like now!!). He tearfully said yes and then we proceeded to a four hour ordeal of getting his arm set (it was all I could do not to cry my eyes out watching that one) and casting his arm. Amazingly enough the wedding cake got done, my test was finished -with a good score, and I went to bed knowing the Lord watches over us even on the little things. I have had soooo many miracles since the start of my separation-it is amazing how the Lord can be with one even in the middle of ugly, painful things-even more in those things I should say. I am blessed and have had great support from family and friends and continue to go on day to day...feeling a little broken myself but knowing with the Lord one day maybe I can feel whole again. I am learning to love the Atonement even more and am so thankful for the hope it gives us all! Today at Stake Conference one of the members of my new Stake Presidency (I moved last month)talked about families and kids loving their parents. He talked about how he was fatherless from the time he was 11 years old and how he loved his mother twice as much because he knew how hard she worked for her family. He then told all the kids who have single parents that their parents love them twice as much and they need to love their parents twice as much. Needless to say tears were streaming down my face. I cannot tell you how it made me feel to know at least one person in that stake was not judging me and even understood. I have realized more than ever the last few months how very important it is to never judge each other. We truly can never know the heart of another...no matter how obvious something looks on the outside there is often a beautiful story on the inside. My new goal is to find out people's beautiful stories more and point fingers less...if I can help someone feel a little less broken then maybe my trials won't be for naught....
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Hiking, Camping, Canoeing, and Just Plain Fun!!
I just can't get over this picture...for any of you who know Brayden well...the irony of the word danger under him on the rock makes me laugh. I didn't even notice it until I got home and put the pics on the computer!!
If you notice up in the recesses of the cliff is Jordan...this was a great accomplishment as he is terrified of heights...
The kids and I!!!
Grandpa and Brayden!!
The end is in sight!!
For the 4th of July Barbara, her kids, and my kids and I went to the Miller's cabin in Island Park, Idaho. We had a great time!! There was a lot of canoeing, playing, and just plain chilling out!! The morning of the 4th we were roused out of our beds by a loud horn that kept going off and finally the kids came and told us there was a parade. So we ran to the end of the lane and enjoyed a parade-cabin style-lots of four wheelers, decorated bikes, trucks hauling boats, and, of course, candy!! On an interesting note, we saw Jordan's school teacher and family in the parade-small world! Later we went and sat on rocks at the waters edge and watched fireworks over the water which was very pretty!! It really was one of the best 4th of July's I have ever had!! On a sad note I did drop my camera into that beautiful lake and it has never recovered, so for a while my blog may be pictureless. :(
Brock, Caleb, and Brayden impatiently waiting for the fireworks to start.
Barb and Josh
Jordan, Tristan, and Kenzie- professional canoers!
Caleb and Connor
Barb, me, and a whole lot of boys (5 to be exact!!)- we were not professional canoers- we kept going in circles and almost hitting other peoples docks or boats- for some reason we did much better the next day when Barb was in charge of steering-go figure!! :)
We have had a lot of fun and are looking forward to camping next week! It is nice to get a break here and there from the "real world"!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
To My "Little" Bro!!
Well obviously I have been way behind on my posts!! First and foremost I must say I am sorry to my dear brother, Chris, for not posting about his funeral sooner...some pains take time to be able to face. I still sometimes am taken by surprise that Chris is gone. I will visit his grave and be surprised all over again for the millionth time that he is there. But maybe that is because I know, as do we all, that he is not really there but is in Sadie's laughter, Jen's strength, and all of our hearts. I know he is doing great work on the other side, both for those there, and us here and I am so proud of him for that. To me there is no better tribute to one, then to say...you have lived your life well, you have blessed others, you have been true to yourself and to your Heavenly Father, you have nothing to regret...and that is Chris. I love you Chris, I miss you, and I am so proud of you!
I have had a rough few months...I am learning that trials hurt, some pains seem so much bigger than anyone should have to take but the Lord is there...always. He is our strength, our rock, our Savior, we only have to let Him in. He can't always stop the rain but He can open our hearts that the rain feeds our soul instead of drowns it. I am learning that some pains are bigger than any one person can take on their own and there is yet one more reason for family...sometimes friends and family are the only way you get up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other. And for that I want to thank mine...you all are wonderful...I couldn't make it without you and thank you.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Busy Month
Well, it's been a busy few weeks. We had 4 boys in soccer, 2 boys in scouts, 1 girl in track, 1 girl and 1 Mom (me) in Young Women's. Whoo....the time has come to an end, it's been crazy but fun!! Some highlights....Jordan loved his soccer team....the second one....the first one he was so unimpressed with because of their rudeness and swearing that he wanted to quit. But once we changed his team he loved it. I was very impressed with his desire to be in a good environment! Go Jordan!! Jordan is also in a chess tournament...and doing very well...obviously he doesn't take after his mother over this one! But I am very proud of him!
Brock lost his last soccer game but won in the sportsmans area!! He was kicking the ball in the middle of a group of boys and one tripped and fell, the ball landed right in front of Brock. I was (as a good soccer mom does) yelling...get the ball!! get the ball!!! He literally stepped around the ball and gave the fallen boy (from the other team) his hand and helped him up. Then he followed the boy asking are you allright, are you allright...while the boy was trying to go get the ball!! I was crying...I figured...ok...Brock will never be a football player (can you imagine...Did I hit you too hard...are you ok?...I am so sorry!) but he will be a caring guy...who needs football player sons anyway! :) Needless to say it was a proud Mom moment.
Tristan made North End in track...don't ask I guess it is like half district or something. She trained to be a sprinter and ran the mile at one meet just for fun because she hadn't qualified in anything else that meet. Her time was good enough to make North End and so she had a whole two days to train! She ran the mile in 6 minutes 49 seconds...not quite good enough to make district but she did get 12th place out of 26 and she won her heat. Her coach told her he was excited to see her next year and train her for distance and he figured he could get her to district!!! Go Tristan!! I was, of course, crying...it made me proud to see her run her little heart out.
The twins played soccer and did a great job!! It was fun to watch them play soccer for the first time ever! They both did a great job. It has been a fun couple of months but very, very busy!!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Winter Fun!!
Just thought I would post some pics of the kids having fun in the snow. Grandpa York took all the kids tubing down his street behind his neighbors 4 wheeler. The kids had a blast (and so did the adults!! :)) Grandpa was even good enough to let three boys sit with him on the 4 wheeler at the same time so every one could get a turn "first".
Every year a snow plow comes and plows the snow from the roads into a big hill right in front of our house. The kids love it and find new and creative ways to use it!!
