Finally...the history of turkey jerky!

I have finally discovered where those disgusting looking packages of "turkey jerky" sold in stores come from. They come from Christmas dinners gone bad. AKA...first the turkey is not taken out of the freezer on time resulting in a very frozen, very non ready bird. Next, after hours of creative thawing, the turkey is transported to the actual event where it is to make its grand appearance, still not cooked, and still holding on to its neck and other such disgusting things that you are told HAVE to be removed before the turkey can be cooked. Next, turkey is relieved of above disgusting extras...with a little help from the actual chef of the party since the "turkey cooker"(me)cannot stand touching raw meat...:P. Then the turkey is finally put into the oven with strict instructions from real chef to fake chef (Dustin to me)about what to do since real chef has to leave the party. Two hours after fake chef is supposed to check on turkey and take off lid for final browning time, fake chef realizes she forgot the turkey was even in the oven...oops. Fake chef quickly rescues turkey from its veeeerrry extended vacation in the warm oven. The turkey leg bones are now literally dry...with the meat pulled back and looking very done. The turkey is now perfect to take off the bone,try to chew and then in defeat send it off to the packaging company to be made into...yes, the packages of disgusting looking turkey jerky.
I would like to say this story is a bit of an exaggeration however, unfortunately it is not...it is not one of those stories where everyone agrees that the turkey actually tasted fine despite all the mishaps. A famous line by one, Jen York, after I gloatingly informed her that Wendy actually asked for some turkey to take home..."Did she actually try it?" Touche! :)